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DECK THE HOLIDAY'S: 10 COMMON PARALLELS BETWEEN PORN AND HORROR MOVIES!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

10 COMMON PARALLELS BETWEEN PORN AND HORROR MOVIES!!







   Porn and horror movies have always been similar and if you watch either, you'd know that they're basically made of the same elements. For those that are blind and don't see the similarities, these are 10 irrefutable porn and horror movie similarities.










No Acting Skills Needed

   Porn and horror movie producers seem to pride themselves on their baffling horrible acting standards. Bad acting skills used loosely seem to be the charm of both porn and horror movies and is actually preferred since no one wants to watch a serious porn or horror movie. In both genres, there isn't a need for porn and horror actors to depict a wide emotional or character range, they are similar because both genres only require actors to portray one emotion. Porn requires acting out the emotion of pleasure; horror only requires fear, anything else is a bonus.










Nudity Is a Requirement For Both

   It's a no-brainer that nudity is required for porn movies, but have you ever paid attention to the unnecessary amount of nudity in horror movies? Horror movies aren't called B-movies by accident; booties and boobies are unofficial requirements for all horror movies. Porn and horror movies both share the same appreciation for creating sexual situations out of completely random circumstances. Car broke down? In the woods? Pizza man dropped by? These are all perfect situations for nude scenes in both porn and horror movies.










Low Production Budget

   To create a horror or porn movie, all you'd need is a handheld camera, a wrist, and people to voluntarily shoot. Lighting, camera crews, rehearsal, and other high overhead aren't needed when shooting a porn or horror movie, because the audience won't care either way. The background, sound, makeup and special effects of horror and porn movies are always laughably sub-par and that's ok; porn and horror movie fans won't have it any other way.









Terrible  Soundtrack

   Porn is known for its retro late 70s groovy music, saxophone solos, and soothing yoga-like music; horror movies are known for loud synth screeches, dark and long base tones, and random breathing sounds. The soundtracks of porn and horror movies aren't similar in the least bit, but both share the same appreciation for annoyingly painful soundtracks. Sound is just a distraction from cricket sounds, bird chirps, and background car sound in both porn and horror movies, it's not for real music quality.










Neither is Respected

   Both the porn and horror movie genres have been looked down on since they first hit the scene. No one openly admits to being a fan of either genre (unless they're total oddballs) and the Academy will never respect these movie genres. If an actor becomes too famous in either porn or horror movies, they'll always be type casted as porn or horror movie stars - and can never work outside of those genres again. Both porn and horror movies provide an entertainment need, but they just haven't reached the level of social acceptance to make either mainstream.










Moans, Groans, and Screaming for God

   If you were to mute a porn or horror movie during certain scenes, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference, and if you were to turn off your screen and listen to a horror or porn movie, you'd have no idea which type of movie you were listening to. Both porn and horror movie genres share the same kind of guttural screeches, groans, and pleas for god to either save them, or take them to the furthest levels of ecstasy. When watching a porn or horror movie, you are bound to see a close eyed, open mouthed woman and sweaty guy that's just trying to hold it all together before the woman finds out how unmanly they are.








No Plot is Needed

   When you watch a porn or horror genre movie, you couldn't care less about a plot. When you watch these movies, you only want to see one thing in each respective genre. In fact, when a horror or porn movie tries to establish a plot, it totally ruins the entire movie. No one cares where the porn stars met or their relationship status; their isn't even a need to see them undress each other - it could start right in the middle of the naked action and porn fans would be happy (with a hint of depression). Horror movies are always ruined when the producer (anyone other than Steven King) tries to get witty with their audience; give us blood, screams, and one survivor to live forever in fear and that's all it'll take (p.s. the one survivor isn't needed).









The Same Audience Viewing Setting

   It's funny, but both horror and porn movies are viewed under the same circumstances; dark room, on the bed, and usually under covers. Couples also watch both movie genres to bring each other closer and both can make the man in the relationship look manly - or like a total wuss depending on the porn or horror movie.








Paranoia Inducing

   Porn and horror movies influence the most paranoiac behavior of all movie genres. As soon as you turn on a porn movie, you'll instantly become paranoid of any sound, shadow, or games your mind plays on that makes you believe you'll be found watching porn. Horror movies also make you paranoid, but not because you're ashamed; you'll become paranoid when watching horror because you know that something jumpy is around every corner - you just don't know when it'll happen.









Awkward Endings

   Honestly, both porn and horror movies take too long to end, but when they do, both genres always end awkwardly. Before and during the time you're watching a porn or horror movie, you'll be totally into the movie, but after its over; you automatically snap out of the movie's spell. Horror and porn films end in the same ways every time and even though we know the ending beforehand, we can't help but feel dirty after the movie is over.

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