Wednesday, April 30, 2014


   Kate Beckinsale is simply delicious as the warrior vampiress caught in the midst of the battle between her own kind and the wolfish lycans. A cross between Vampirella and Lara Croft, she seems to have a soft spot for mortal men that holds her back from murdering them–a plus in any relationship.

9. The Countess – Once Bitten (1985)

   This lame horror-comedy is just god-awful, but hot-damn, does `70s supermodel Lauren Hutton still have it. The famously gap-toothed beauty was cinema’s first vampire cougar, inexplicably selecting the pre-famous Jim Carrey as the target of her insatiable bloodlust.

8. Miriam Blaylock – The Hunger (1983)

   If you’re looking for lesbian vampire action (and who isn’t, really?), look no further than this artsy `80s classic. Catherine Deneuve is new-wave hot as an ancient vampire who stalks the New York club scene and rejects David Bowie for the slightly-less-feminine Susan Sarandon.

7. Marya Zaleska – Dracula’s Daughter (1936)

   Speaking of lesbian vampires, Susan Holden is haunting in the title role of this Universal sequel to the Lugosi original, in which she plays a remorseful immortal who is drawn to victims of the fairer sex. In the process, she pushes the envelope about as far as you could in the era of the Hayes Code.

6. Lady Sylvia Marsh – The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

   In this, the other Bram Stoker story to be adapted into a movie, gorgeous newcomer Amanda Donohoe is a priestess out to resurrect an ancient demon. Notable for an early starring turn from Hugh Grant–and for Ms. Donohoe.

5. Marie – Innocent Blood (1992)

   Frenchwoman,  Anne Parillaud plays Marie, a vampire with a taste for mobsters. You’ll have such a hard time taking your eyes off her, in fact, that you’ll probably be unaffected by the shameless Italian-American stereotyping. Mafia movie regulars like David Proval, Robert Loggia and Tony Sirico make their requisite appearances.

Once again, an absolutely fetid vampire flick that nonetheless yields an unforgettable fanged hottie. Late R&B siren Aaliyah is stunning as the titular queen, making it all the more sad that her career was cut so mournfully short.

3. The Brides – Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

Yes, I’m cheating again. But I couldn’t resist this three-in-one pick. The Count’s female companions are jaw-droppingly sexy, how could you pick just one? 

2. Elisabeth Nodosheen – Countess Dracula (1971)

   Ah, Ingrid Pitt… Hammer was always known for its gravity-defying starlets, but Ms. Pitt was without doubt the finest of them all. And in Countess Dracula, she was at her very best, creating a female vampire with as much raw sexual power over men as any male screen vampire had over women–which is why the film’s title actually made perfect sense.

and the hottest vampire babe of all time…

1. Santanico Pandemonium – From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

   Even taking a chunk out of Quentin Tarantino isn’t enough to distract from how ridiculously hot Salma Hayek is in this movie. Her appearance as an undead exotic dancer is not only one of the sexiest performances ever seen in a horror movie, but probably one of the sexiest performances of the 1990s, in any movie, period.

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