Candy is normally a tasty little sweet treat designed to give pleasure to all. However, that is not always the case, as this list proves. For some unknown reason, some candy manufacturers have recently started producing the most disgusting candies you could image (they must be running out of ideas). Here is our list of the most disgusting candies you could ever eat.
I don’t care how this candy tastes, who in their right mind would enjoy scraping ear wax out of a plastic ear for eating? The whole idea just makes me want to gag! It even comes with its own swab. How many kids are going to start digging in their ears after they run out candy I wonder? Smart.
The gross factor in these candies is not their flavor, but the fact that they are designed to look like scabs – complete with plasters. I could possibly cope with that, but just imagine this scenario: Johnny and Jimmy are playing hide and seek. Jimmy hides in the bush that his dog Rover just recently pooped in. Jimmy inadvertently gets Rover’s poop on his hand and doesn’t realize it. They finish playing and mommy gives them some Candy Scabs to eat. Jimmy sticks it on his hand, pulls it off, and…. I think you get the picture. Dumb idea.
The first thing this Dutch candy has going against it is that it is licorice flavored. I know a lot of people like the taste of licorice, but a lot of people voted for George Bush too – it doesn’t make it right. The next problem here is that this is licorice made with an enormous amount of salt. That’s right – it is salt “candy”. Add to that the fact that it looks like something you would expect to find on the floor of an English nightclub, and you have the makings of one of the worst candies ever.
Okay – it is sweet – I will give them that, but inside each of these tasty candies is a REAL LIFE scorpion. Yup – when you lick through the sugar coating, you get to chow down on scorpion guts. Whoever came up with this candy needs to be forced to eat some Dubbel Zout.
We are really walking a thin line with this one – gorilla boogers are sweetened dried black beans (popular in Asian cooking). I was on holiday in korea once and had some of their sweet bean candy (they beat the beans to a pulp then shape it in to small bite sized pieces). It tasted like dirt. These boogers are made from the same beans. They taste like dirt too. Sweetened dirt. Enough said.
5. Ant Candy
Like the scorpion candy above, this is basically a lump of melted sugar with a bunch of dead ants thrown in to it. Of all the things in the world that they could have thrown in to their candy, what the hell made them choose ants. How does this stuff get past the FDA?
4. Jane-Jane Tasty Tuna Tidbits
Tuna was invented by mother nature for hippy vegetarians and people trying to shed some fat – so how has it managed to find its way in to candy? The main ingredient in these little blobs of sugary disgustingness is tuna. After that comes a bunch of chemicals of unknown origin, and finally sugar. Seriously – who would eat fish flavored candy?
Just because Moses and the Jews ate locusts in the desert doesn’t mean anyone should do it now! These are real crickets sprinkled with a variety of flavors. I realize that chips (which they are similar to) are not usually labeled as candy, but they are so gross (and both are equally bad for you) that they deserve a spot here. Anyone that eats these things by choice deserves to be hit with a plague of boils.
Durian fruit is a common fruit in Southeast Asia. To people unfamiliar to it, it usually evokes feelings of utter disgust. One food writer said: “its odor is best described as pig-shit, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock.” You are not even allowed to bring this stuff in to hospitals or hotels in South East Asia. In Singapore, they have signs that forbid you from taking it on the public transport system (
see here). That is how disgusting it is. So, it makes a
lot of sense to make candy out of it. Not. But there you have it – someone has done it. This one was nearly number 1 on the list, until we discovered BeanBoozled…
BeanBoozled are jellybeans made by the company that brought us Gourmet JellyBeans. In a box of BeanBoozled we find 10 colors of beans and 20 flavors – every color has one tasty flavor, and a disgusting flavor – the idea is that you never know whether you are about to get a good one or a bad one. This makes it ideal for party games. So – why is this number one on the list? After you read the selection of “bad” flavors, you will understand: Skunk Spray, Moldy Cheese, Baby Wipes, Rotten Egg, Vomit, and more. And guess what? They
really taste like their names. Next time you are watching a movie in the dark with friends, slip a few of these in to their bag of jellybeans for a great gag (literally).
Comments
Post a Comment